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If you have arrived at this page, you must be going through, or are thinking about embarking on an important life change.
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It’s been said that women tend to be emotional and I assume they are correct, who wouldn’t be when considering a life changing event such as divorce. Whether you’re thinking about divorce or already in the process, life can feel overwhelming.
Emotions often feel as if they are on a rollercoaster most days, as you’re not sure where to turn. There may be feelings of anger or even regret because of whatever has landed you in the situation that has caused divorce to be an option or a destination. Just to let you know, this is normal and will get better over time.
Learning about divorce, the process and how you can become involved toward controlling your divorce rather than it controlling you often helps with your emotions as you’re more in control over decisions rather than the consequences of them.
In addition to those nudging emotions, there are other concerns such as your financial security. Were you actively involved with the financial affairs of your marriage? Are you concerned that you’ll get your fair share? Do you know how to plan financially for life after divorce? If not, you need to become proactive now by educating yourself as to what you have acquired during your marriage and then consider what your needs will be after divorce.
This is one area that I wouldn’t depend entirely on any one professional to tell me what to do. You’ll be the one who will have to live the life that you’ve agreed to live after you’ve signed your divorce decree. Some questions to ask yourself may be what’s your goals for life are after divorce and can you afford your marital home without your spouse’s income? If so, how old are the appliances, roof, etc. and are they in need of repair. In many marriage environments, husbands were responsible for home maintenance issues so women tend to overlook these types of items when making decisions during divorce.
Don’t let this happen to you as it can create a devastating financial havoc in the future. Have you considered how to approach division of your bills? Would a 50/50 split be a good answer or would bartering personal property for the other spouse paying for some of the debt be a better option?
Preparing now is your best weapon!
We recognize that divorce help is not “one size fits all”. While some areas of concern apply to all divorcing couples, there are many questions which are specific to those with children.
That’s why we’ve created two versions of Divorce Tool Box:
If you have children, you’re probably concerned for their well-being. Having peace of mind that you make decisions concerning how they will spend time between both parent’s homes, succeed in school, maintain healthy emotions as they transition through the divorce and above all know that they are loved by both parents is essential.
One of the biggest mistakes that couples make is they don’t plan ahead for their children. Life during divorce is so demanding that parents forget that their kids will grow up and they will have needed you to plan for their future. What’s so crazy is that you are required to do that planning now, no matter their age so decisions can be incorporated into your final divorce decree that you and the children will live by on a daily basis. It’s usually not wise to say that you and your spouse will agree on items later when the time comes. Life moves forward and other things and people tend to get in the way of the best interest of your children.
It’s this simple, if you have a 3 year old today, that means you’ll need to plan for when they are 5 and begin school – will both of you live within the school district? What happens when he turns 8 and wants to begin extracurricular activities? Discussing the number of activities that both spouses are willing to help pay for may be wise so your child has both parent’s involvement and financial commitment moving forward.
What happens when he’s 16 and wants a car and 19 and there’s college? What college will he attend? Will it be public, private, should there be boundaries such as how many years that parents are willing to pay and what grades should be maintained?
Whatever age your child is currently, there’s a lot to consider for them now but you’ll want to plan ahead so your children don’t do without.
Divorce Tool Box founder, Audrey Silcox, has walked “in your shoes”. She found herself suddenly making major decisions with little information. This experience taught her the power of self-education about divorce, the types of decisions divorce required, and the importance of learning to make those decisions under stress.
Her mission through Divorce Tool Box is to educate and empower individuals just like you by guiding them step by step through the divorce process to make sense of it all and achieve the best results possible for themselves and their children, all from the comfort of your home or other familiar surroundings – not in a stranger’s office watching the clock tick which is financially and emotionally taxing.
Divorce Tool Box is simple, just click buy now and you’ll receive your subscription to our video series that will guide you through many of the decisions that we’ve just discussed and more. You’ll watch the videos, take notes and then complete the divorce action plan that is provided. With your completed action plan, you will have identified topics that are important to you, made decisions in advance so when you meet with your spouse or lawyer, you won’t be blind sighted because you haven’t considered what you want and why.
After purchasing the version of Divorce Tool Box which best fits your needs, you will be given access to a 60-day subscription to the sessions included.
- WATCH ON ANY DEVICE, AT ANY TIME OF THE DAY OR NIGHT.
Work at your convenience and your own pace. Divorce Tool Box allows you to work toward your goals in a less expensive and disruptive way.
- GET ORGANIZED AND PREPARED.
As you watch, you will be prompted to take notes and gather documents, becoming organized as you go and making decisions along the way. You will be prepared to complete your downloadable Divorce Action Plan Template, which helps you assess and prioritize needs for both yourself and your children, and create a Divorce Action Plan. Your completed Divorce Action Plan can provide a sense of control in the midst of great change and uncertainty.
- BECOME A VITAL PART OF YOUR DIVORCE TEAM.
After creating your Divorce Action Plan, you will be better equipped to partner with your legal or counseling professional to achieve your goals. If you are pursuing your divorce on a pro se basis by representing yourself, you will have considered the essential questions necessary to craft a divorce proposal.
Whether contemplating divorce of already in the process and for half the cost of one professional appointment, help is a click away to having a more peaceful mind that you’re not alone and well on your way to making better decisions for you and your family’s future.
P.S. Here is a sample session from our programs:
SESSION 1 – FOCUS ON YOU
Before you begin working towards a divorce, you must become psychologically fit to balance the demands of a stressful life transition. Emotions will be at an all-time high, making concentration and coping difficult. Take charge of your divorce by learning to take care of you!
- Learn how to identify divorce stressors, apply techniques to reduce them and learn to effectively manage your divorce
- Identify the shifting of responsibilities and additional demands created by divorce, and learn to balance them well
- Almost every person who experiences divorce faces grief, whether they were the one to pursue the divorce, or their partner was. Learn to identify the grief stages and how to transition through them in a healthy manner
- Learn how to protect your professional life during divorce by maintaining your emotional health and productivity at work
- Your physical and mental health can be affected during divorce. Learn how to protect both to enhance your endurance in the midst of stress
The goal of session one is to focus on you – where you are in your divorce, your emotional process, and how you can best cope with the challenges you face.
