Memories are like a rainbow; they begin with bright vivid colors in our mind and continue to brighten throughout our lifetime. Relationship memories are also quite vivid as a new relationship begins and grows into more than just friendships. Usually, reflection upon a couple’s relationship may begin at the first acquaintance and then progress as the friendship blossoms into something more than friendship. A stranger may ask how you met your ex-spouse and without hesitation, you can share many memories that you have since you two first met. When falling in love with your mate, everything seems to remain fresh in one’s memory with crisp details as if it happened yesterday. Without hesitation, couples can usually remember many things that happened in the first years of dating and marriage with enthusiasm and intricate details of each event. These memories may consist of the first date, dating years, engagement and marriage. Throughout the time span that a couple meets, creates a dating relationship, marries and have children, many memories will be created which will be always and forever etched in their mind with bright vivid colors.
As a couple begins to expand their family, unique memories are then attached to each pregnancy and the anticipation as they wait for the arrival of their newest family member. As parents plan how their child will be nurtured, establish goals for their future and anticipate which college of choice that he will attend as well as the wonderful life that awaits his arrival, their world is one of much happiness. As the child arrives and life moves forward, cherished memories are made daily. The first words, first steps, and so forth are usually captured on video to have even more cherished memories. The bonds that are created as the child grows and relationships are strong seem as though nothing can destroy the family security that seems so surreal.
For many families around the world, their family began just as noted above, seemingly to have strong bonds yet so many face divorce at the least expected time in life. What becomes of the plans and goals that were established for the children? The vivid colors of the memory rainbow begins to dull with the realization that the family unit is now changing for everyone.
Parents sometimes find themselves wishing that they could forget the fond memories in order to lessen the pain experienced as a result of divorce, but memories will always be a part of life. Keeping memories alive for the sake of the children may be painful but necessary in order for them to know how life was when their parents were not divorced, especially if they were young. As children mature, they may like for parents to share fond memories of how their parents met, funny stories of their parent’s dating and stories of what they did in their young years from infancy to childhood. In order to share these stories and help fill the gap of time for your children, past memories will need to remain alive and allow the vivid colors to remain present so that the children too can enjoy them.
As you journey through life now as a divorced parent, acknowledge that living in the past is not healthy but living in the present with the ability to revisit the past for the children’s sake is often necessary. Life creates memories and even when marriages end on a negative note, many have lasting memories of their past which can bring smiles to their face. Live in the future but realize that memories of the past that reflect that of the colorful and vivid rainbow will be always and forever with you.
Divorce Tool Box realizes how painful that divorce can be for all family members and how memories will always a part in the present and future play. Visit our website today at www.divorcetoolbox.onlineto explore how we can help you.
